In order to continuously improve ourselves and get better results, we must be willing to consider new ideas that can influence our attitude or behaviour in a positive way.
Chances are we’ve all done things in the past that weren’t helpful to us or we wished we hadn’t done them.
Unless we start setting a new standard for ourselves, we can end up making similar mistakes which will affect our self-confidence and self-esteem.
The way to avoid it is to clearly define things we will not do and stick to them as best as we can.
Over the years, one of the things I have gotten better at is saying “no” to activities, projects or events that I wasn’t emotionally connected to.
While initially it was a little uncomfortable because I was concerned about how others would react, I’ve since learned that as long as I am being true to myself, how others react is really not my concern.
Here are ten things to consider adding to your “Don’t Do List” so that when you find yourself in certain situations, you already have a set of standards by which you make all your choices and decisions. This will free up so much mental energy and internal turmoil so that you can focus on what is most important to you.
- Do anything without being clear on your true intention. Before we say yes to anything, we have to be really clear on why we are saying yes and what outcome(s) we want. It is about being aware of the energy of our intention. We have to ask ourselves, What is my real intention for doing this?
- Put energy and attention into trying to please others. Let’s face it — no matter what we do or hard we try, we will not please everyone. Therefore, is it of any value to put focus and attention into pleasing others? This is not an excuse for not carrying out our responsibilities to our families, customers or clients. It is about having the awareness that as long as we do our best and know that we did the best we could at the time, then if others are not happy then it should not be our concern.
- Blame others when things don’t work out for you. Instead of blaming external conditions or circumstances, we must take personal ownership of all our results because if we don’t, then we’re admitting that outside influences dictate whether we will or will not achieve our goals. Taking responsibility is a sign of personal power and strength because we are taking control of all our results.
- Stop dreaming big. We tend to stop dreaming big when we’ve faced setbacks, disappointments or failures in life. We often use it as a strategy to protect ourselves so that we don’t experience those things again. What it also does is it limits us from going after what we really want and we settle for things that are neither inspiring nor uplifting.
- Use being busy as an excuse to not look after yourself. We cannot be at our best if we are not spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. Lack of time cannot be an excuse not to take care of ourselves. We must make ourselves and our needs just as important as the needs of those we care about.
- Keep repeating the same mistakes again. It is very frustrating when we repeat patterns of behaviour that do not support us in what we’re trying to achieve, and we know we should have done better. Whenever we have an experience we deem to be a failure, one of the most valuable things we can do is to ask, What did I learn from that experience that will serve me in the future?
- Stop embracing change. There is no denying that change today is a lot faster than it was say four or five decades ago. Instead of avoiding or resisting change, we must start to take advantage of change. This is why being really clear on what we want is a critical step. If we know what we want, then we can identify how to take advantage of new information, technology or strategies to get what we want.
- Let perfection be an excuse to not attempt or complete something. The perfection trap often slows down progress and restricts what we’re willing to share with the world. The best way to beat perfection is to think of everything we attempt as a test or experiment. Rather than being concerned whether something will work out or not, have the attitude that whatever our results, it is just feedback and we have the choice to improve it.
- Be jealous of other people’s success. One of the laws of success is we cannot bring in what we resent. Rather than being envious or jealous of other people’s success, we can choose to be inspired by them. It is more beneficial to adopt the mindset that if they can achieve that level of success, then it’s also possible for us.
- Stop learning and growing. If we are not growing, by law, we’re dying. We don’t ever stay the same because we live in a world that is constantly evolving. Our goal should be to identify what new skills, habits or behaviours we must learn that will bring us the most benefit over the long term.
By being clear on what we will not tolerate and do from this point on, it will also help clarify what is important to us. If we stick to these things, we will certainly start to create new and better results, and have a difference experience of life. If we don’t, then chances are we will recreate experiences from the past that may not have been what we wanted.
Action Step: Choose one thing from the list that you believe will be most beneficial to you and make a commitment that this will now be your new standard. Do not deviate from it no matter how uncomfortable things get. Repeat the process for as many of things on the list as you want.
Question: What could be another thing to consider adding to the list of things we should not do anymore?
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