5 Reasons to Stop Being Insecure and How to Do it

Why Dealing with Insecurity Issues Will Change How You Think and Feel About Yourself

Neel Raman
9 min readFeb 14


When you understand reasons for your insecurities and can stop being insecure, you will not want to live that way anymore.

Everyone feels insecure at times, and most people don’t talk about their insecurities with anyone. Most people would rather hide their insecurities than share them with others.

They’d rather pretend everything is fine than admit they’re struggling with something.

If you’ve ever felt insecure, you know how crippling it can be. It can cause you to feel powerless. It makes you feel you’re not worth anything and prevents you from living the life you deserve.

This is why you need to stop being insecure. Once you understand the reasons to stop being insecure, you’ll realize insecurity is holding you back and you won’t want to live like that anymore.

1-Minute Summary Video

What Does Being Insecure Mean?

Being insecure refers to feeling anxious or worried about yourself. It’s when you worry about things such as your appearance, your abilities, your relationships, etc.

Insecurity also includes feelings of inadequacy, shame, guilt, embarrassment, inferiority, and fear. These feelings make you feel bad about yourself and prevent you from doing what you want to do.

In addition, insecurity may include a lack of confidence and trust in yourself and others. This leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

You might have experienced these feelings before. If so, then you already know how debilitating insecurity can be.

It can affect every aspect of your life. For example, if you’re insecure about your looks, you may avoid social situations because you think no one will find you attractive.

If you’re insecure about your job, you may not apply for jobs because you think you aren’t qualified enough.

If you’re the type of person who is jealous of other people, you may try to sabotage their success because you don’t want someone else getting ahead of you.

Where Does Insecurities Come from?

Insecurity comes from many sources, such as physical appearance, body image, and voice. People with low self-esteem often feel inadequate and inferior. They may even doubt their abilities and talents.

They may also experience feelings of shame and guilt. They may feel embarrassed by their flaws and failures.

People who struggle with insecurity often compare themselves to others. They may feel jealous of those who seem more successful than them.

Some people feel insecure because they don’t fit into society’s standards. They may feel like an outsider.

Other people may feel insecure because they’re overweight or underweight. They may feel unattractive and undesirable.

If not addressed, being insecure can prevent you from doing or having the life experiences what you want.

stop being insecure

Types of Insecurities

There are many types of insecurities. Here are a few examples.

1. Physical appearance

A person who struggles with this type of insecurity may believe he or she isn’t good looking. He or she may feel ugly and unattractive.

2. Body image

This refers to how you view your own body. Some people feel dissatisfied with their bodies. They may wish they were thinner or had more muscles.

3. Voice

This refers to how you speak. You may feel insecure about your tone of voice. You may feel like you sound stupid or uneducated.

4. Social skills

This refers to your ability to interact with others. You may feel insecure around new people or people you don’t know well.

5. Self-confidence

This refers to your belief in yourself. You may feel confident about some aspects of your life, but not others.

6. Financial security

This refers to money and financial stability. You may feel insecure because you don’t earn enough money or because you spend too much money.

7. Relationships

This refers to your relationship with friends, family members, romantic partners, and coworkers. You may have relationship insecurities if you’re single or if you don’t have healthy relationships.

8. Career

This refers to your career goals and ambitions. You may feel insecure when you’re unemployed or working in a job that doesn’t interest you.

9. Education

This refers to your academic achievements and educational aspirations. You may feel insecure after failing a class or receiving poor grades on tests.

10. Health

This refers to your health and fitness level. You may feel insecure because of a physical condition, illness, or injury.

An insecure person may let these issues affect how they behave and how they live their life.

Signs of Insecurities

The warning signs of insecurities include:

  • Feeling anxious or worried about yourself.
  • Losing interest in activities that used to bring joy to you.
  • Avoiding certain places or events.
  • Feeling like a burden to others.
  • Making excuses for poor performance.
  • Giving up on goals.
  • Feeling lonely, isolated, or depressed.
  • Acting like a victim and not taking responsibility.

Feelings of insecurity are common among everyone. However, some people suffer from severe forms of insecurity. They may become obsessed with their appearance, constantly worry about making mistakes, and fear losing control over their lives.

Causes of Insecurities

The common causes of insecurities include:

  • Low self-esteem.
  • Shame or guilt.
  • Fear of failure and fear of rejection.
  • Being overweight or underweight.
  • Feelings of inadequacy.
  • Comparison with others.
  • Not fitting in with society’s standards.
  • Struggling with perfectionism.
  • Feelings of jealousy.
  • Fear of abandonment.

What are the Consequences of Being Insecure?

Being insecure can affect your life in the following ways.

1. Low confidence and motivation

If you feel insecure, your self-confidence will probably suffer. You won’t have the energy to do things you enjoy. You may avoid social situations because you don’t feel comfortable.

You may become less motivated to work hard or study. You may lose interest in hobbies and sports.

2. Poor relationships

When you experience insecurity in relationships, you may have trust issues, which can affect your current relationship. You may worry that others will hurt you or reject you. This could lead to bad friendships. It can also affect your romantic relationships or your intimate relationships.

3. Feelings of loneliness

If you feel insecure about yourself, you may start isolating yourself. You may spend time alone instead of connecting with other people and spending quality time with them.

4. Feeling unworthy

If you feel insecure and worthless, you may think everyone else is better than you. You may feel like no one cares about you. This could make you feel guilty and ashamed.

5. Avoidance of risk

If you feel insecure or afraid of failing, you may choose safe options over risky ones. You may avoid trying new things or making decisions.

6. Failing to achieve goals

If you feel insecure when faced with challenges, you may give up before you try. This can prevent you from reaching your goals.

7. Giving up on dreams

If you feel insecure while pursuing your dreams, you may give up. You may decide to settle for less than what you really want and not have a positive outlook on life.

8. Not feeling good enough

If you feel insecure because you don’t meet societal expectations, you may believe you aren’t good enough. This will cause you to play small.

9. Acting like a victim

If you feel insecure due to low self-esteem, you may act like a victim. You may blame others for your problems and refuse to take responsibility.

10. Making excuses for poor performance

If you feel insecure, it may make you feel as though you can’t succeed. You may make excuses for poor performance.

5 Reasons to Stop Being Insecure

Here are five reasons to stop being insecure so you can overcome your insecurities and change how you think and feel about yourself.

1. Being insecure leads to low self-esteem

Self-esteem is the belief you have in yourself. If you lack self-esteem, you might feel you’re not worthy of respect or love.

2. You may feel lonely, isolated, or sad

Loneliness means having a few friends or family members who care about you. When you feel lonely, you may isolate yourself. You may also feel sad or depressed.

3. It can cause you to give more attention to what others think of you

If you focus too much on what other people think of you, you may feel inadequate or inferior. You may compare yourself to others and have jealous feelings.

4. Being insecure may make you think everyone else has more than you

If you feel insecure, you may believe everyone else is happier and more successful than you are. You may even feel you’re not good enough.

5. You will avoid taking risks

If you’re scared of failure, you may shy away from taking chances. You may fear rejection and embarrassment, and not put yourself in a situation where you could experience that.

How You Can Stop Being Insecure

Once you understand the reasons to overcome your insecurities, you’ll realize overcoming them isn’t impossible. Here are steps you can take to overcome feeling insecure.

1. Understand why you feel insecure

It helps to understand why you feel insecure. You may feel insecure because you don’t feel worthy of respect or love, or because you feel you’re missing out on opportunities.

2. Ask yourself if you’re doing all you can to improve yourself

You should ask yourself if you’re doing everything possible to become a better person. Are you learning more about yourself? Are you spending time with people who bring the best out of you?

3. Do not let others’ opinions affect you

Other people’s opinions do not determine whether you’re a worthwhile person. Focus on improving yourself instead of giving attention to what others think.

4. Talk to someone about your insecurities

Talking to someone can help you get perspective and gain insight into your emotions and also uncover beliefs that are not supporting you. A trained professional, such as a relationship expert, can help you uncover and overcome your insecurities.

5. Take action

This will require you to have clarity on what you want in your life. Set goals and take consistent action to progress to what you want to achieve.

6. Let go of perfection

Perfectionism is another reason you may feel insecure. Perfectionists often set unrealistic goals and develop false expectations. Believing you will always achieve your goals without failing is unrealistic and can lead to frustration when you don’t achieve them.

7. Learn to forgive yourself

Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you’re excusing your mistakes. Instead, forgiving yourself means accepting you made a mistake and moving forward.

8. Be patient with yourself

Patience is important when overcoming your insecurities. Patience allows you to work through your issues one step at a time. Accepting you’re imperfect and vulnerable is an important part of overcoming your insecurities. You’re not perfect and you’re not invulnerable. Focus on your positive qualities.

9. Remember, you’re not alone

You’re not the only one going through this. There are many people who struggle with similar feelings as you do.

10. Accept you’re not responsible for other people’s happiness

Let go of what other people think of your actions. You can only control your own thoughts and actions, so focus on that.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling insecure about anything, chances are you have a lot of negative self-talk going on in your head.

Negative thoughts aren’t real. They’re just stories you tell yourself that causes you to feel bad about yourself.

You don’t have to live like that anymore. Start telling yourself positive affirmations instead and watch how quickly your confidence will grow.

Action Step: Reflect on what you’re insecure about, if you have any. Find out what the causes of those insecurities are and work with someone to overcome them if you’re unable to do it on your own.

Question: What are other reasons to stop being insecure and what can you do to fix it?

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Neel Raman

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