How to Deal with Being Angry with Yourself

5 Ways to Get to the Core Issue and Redirect Your Focus to Achieve Positive Outcomes

1-Minute Summary Video

What Does Being Angry with Yourself Mean?

What Can Cause You to Be Angry with Yourself?

  • Your thoughts. If you think negatively about yourself, you’re going to feel unhappy.
  • Your actions. If you act impulsively, you may feel a sense of guilt.
  • The environment around you. If you live in an unhealthy environment, that can trigger unpleasant emotions.
  • Your emotions. If you don’t know how to control your emotions well, you will struggle to deal with difficult feelings.
  • Other people. If you’re having trouble getting along with other people in your personal or professional life, it can trigger negative feelings.
  • Your beliefs. If you believe certain things about yourself, you’re going to have a hard time accepting those things as true.
  • Your experiences. If you had a difficult childhood or unresolved trauma, that will have a negative impact on your life.
being angry with yourself

How Do People React to Anger?

  • Ignoring it. They pretend it doesn’t exist.
  • Lashing out at someone else. They blame someone else for their problems.
  • Getting defensive. They become aggressive and start arguing.
  • Becoming quiet. They withdraw and shut down.
  • Trying to change the subject. They distract themselves by talking about something else.
  • Taking action. They take steps to fix whatever problem they’re facing.
  • Feeling sorry for themselves. They give up and may feel sad.
  • Expressing their feelings. They spend time with people who care about them.

The Costs of Being Angry with Yourself

  • Depression. Experiencing depression is a common result when you have uncontrolled anger.
  • Anxiety. This is another common consequence of being angry with yourself. It can lead to panic attacks and sleeping disorders.
  • Irritability. Being constantly irritated is another common symptom of feeling angry with yourself.
  • Self-destructive behaviour. This is one way you can express anger, which unfortunately will not lead to positive outcomes.
  • Relationship problems. Not behaving like you normally would can strain your relationships.
  • Health issues. Prolonged anger issues can affect your physical health and can cause other medical conditions or issues, such as a mental health condition.

5 Ways to Deal with Being Angry with Yourself

1. Don’t ignore your anger and allow yourself to experience it

2. Understand what caused you to feel angry

3. Accept responsibility

4. Identify what you would rather feel

5. Talk it out to get to the root cause

Final Thoughts

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Neel Raman

If you’re a leader that wants your team to perform better, get a free copy of my bestselling book, “Building High-Performing Teams” here: