Neel Raman
5 min readJun 19, 2020

How to Forgive Someone and Move on With Your Life

5 Steps You Can Take to Heal Yourself After a Painful Experience

If you know how to forgive someone who caused you pain, you will allow yourself to heal and move on with your life.

To forgive someone who has hurt you requires strength. Practicing forgiveness is essential for you to grow and evolve into the person you can be.

Reasons to Forgive Someone

When you forgive someone, you are doing it for your benefit. It also does not mean you agree with what happened or what they did to you.

The reasons to forgive someone includes:

  • You will have lower stress and anxiety levels.
  • You will not be angry or resentful.
  • You will not experience physical pain such as headaches or migraines.
  • You will sleep better at night.
  • You will have healthier relationships.
  • You will stop living in the past.
  • You will concentrate better.
  • You will allow yourself to heal fully.
  • You will not allow someone to have power over you.
  • You will focus on what’s good in your life rather than what is not going well.

Forgiving someone is a conscious decision, and it is a valuable gift you can give yourself. When you can completely forgive someone, you will free yourself from pain, hurt, regret or anger, and get on with your life.

how to forgive someone

A Personal Experience of Forgiveness

I once lost a role with a company that caused me a lot of emotional pain because of the way it was done. I didn’t appreciate the lack of transparency and honesty from the managers responsible for informing me of their decision.

For a few days, I was upset and did not function as normal. I did not sleep well, which affected my mood and my appetite. I knew I had to process the emotions I was experiencing, so I let myself to get in touch with what was really bothering me.

I realised I was affected because my values had been violated and how things were handled was not the way I would have done it. That allowed me to let go of what happened and forgive those involved. It was then I understood they were only doing what was asked of them, and it was not something that would have been easy for them.

After letting go of what I was feeling, I could move on and focus on what I wanted to do next. That made the process of restarting again a lot easier.

How to Forgive Someone and Move on With Your Life

Forgiveness is a practice that can be cultivated. Here are five things that will allow you to forgive someone and move on with your life.

  1. Reflect and take responsibility. If someone did something that caused you to react, it means you need to find out why. The reality is no one can cause you to get upset. It’s your interpretation of what happened that will dictate your emotional state. If you feel hurt by what someone did, that’s an opportunity for you take responsibility for how you are responding to what happened.
  2. Allow your emotions to surface without suppressing them. If you suppress your emotions, it will eventually show up. Sometimes, it can cause health issues. Other times, it can cause you behave out of character. A better option is to allow yourself to experience your emotions, then release them. When you let go of unhealthy emotions, you will free yourself to focus on what you want.
  3. Reconnect to your higher self. When you are in blame, regret, resentment or anger mode, you are in a victim mindset. This means you are not in your power. To get back in your power, focus on what you want or what you love. Reconnect to your vision and your goals. That will shift you from a victim consciousness to your higher self.
  4. Do not relive the experience. It’s common to replay what happened repeatedly. If you want to get over it and move on, you have to let it go and focus on the present moment. Instead of focusing on the past, extract lessons from the experience so you can use them to handle things differently next time.
  5. Send positive thoughts. The thought energy you put out will come back to you. Always remember everyone is doing the best they can with the awareness, knowledge, skills and resources they have. Instead of sending thoughts of anger or resentment, send the person positive energy and love. That will help keep you in a positive mental attitude.

These things will require practice before it becomes a way you deal with unpleasant experiences. The more you practice these, the easier they will become to apply.

Final Thoughts

When you learn how to forgive someone, you will improve your relationships. Forgiving someone will help you focus on the good things in your life.

Forgiveness will free you from emotional suffering and allow you to embrace gratitude and joy, while reclaiming your power.

If you cannot truly forgive someone, you risk living in the past and not moving on with your life.

Action Step: If you are holding on to anger or resentment towards someone, use the ideas suggested here to forgive them so you can free yourself from the hurt and pain you are experiencing.

Question: What are others things to know about how to forgive someone and move on with your life?

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Neel Raman
Neel Raman

Written by Neel Raman

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