How to Get Over Being a People Pleaser
5 Things You Can Do to Stay True to Yourself and Your Priorities
Being a people pleaser is something many can relate to, because they want to help others whenever they can.
People usually do things to please others because it makes them feel good and they want to help. That’s the right reason for doing things for others.
If people please others because they have a need for approval or validation, it usually means they are insecure. This is often the wrong reason for helping others.
Signs You Are a People Pleaser
Common signs someone is a people pleaser includes:
- You put other people’s needs ahead of yours.
- You struggle to say “no” when you don’t want to do something.
- You don’t think highly of yourself.
- You apologise to others often, even when you know you were not at fault.
- You seek other people’s approval by doing things for them.
- You want others to like you and need praise to feel good about yourself.
- You don’t like conflict and would rather do something you don’t want to, just to avoid it.
- You don’t admit you feel taken advantage of.
- You have little time for yourself.
- You feel you need to be generous because it’s what you should do.
Knowing you are a people pleaser will allow you to change your approach so you can stay true to yourself and your priorities.
The Consequences of Being a People Pleaser
If you are always attending to other people’s needs before yours, the consequences include:
- Feeling burned out and stressed.
- Losing sleep.
- Not feeling like yourself.
- Feeling anxious or worried.
- Being depleted of energy.
- Feeling resentful, frustrated and angry.
- Experiencing physical pain from pushing yourself beyond your limits.
- Feeling taken advantage of which can lead to depression.
- Affecting your relationships because you may take your frustration out on them.
- Not doing what you want to or what’s important to you.
How You Can Stop Being a People Pleaser
Here are five things you can do to stop being a people pleaser, so you can maintain your health and wellness and stay true to yourself.
- Develop a high level of clarity. This means having more clarity on your priorities and commitments. The clearer you are on what’s important and what you are commitment to, the easier it will be to decide what to agree to.
- Give yourself time to evaluate new requests. Allow yourself to pause and think before agreeing to something. There is power in making an informed decision versus agreeing to a request that you regret later. If you want to say “yes,” be clear on your reasons for doing so.
- Practice saying “no” more often. You always have a choice. If you don’t want to do something, you can say “no.” Also, be flexible and negotiate if you need to. Learning to trust your intuition or your gut will help you make right decisions.
- Build your self-confidence. How you think of yourself influences the decisions you make. If you develop your self-confidence, the need to be validated or approved by others will diminish. You have to accept your needs are just as important as other people’s needs.
- Spend time with people who value you. Other people can take advantage of you if you allow them to. If you reduce the time you spend with those who bring you down, you will have more time to spend with those who lift you up. The people you surround yourself with will affect your mental and emotional states.
Final Thoughts
Being a people pleaser is not healthy for your well-being or sanity, and will not serve you long-term. Putting yourself first and being high on your list of priorities will make it easier to focus on what’s important, without compromising your integrity.
If you have a healthy balance between serving others and taking care of your needs, you won’t need to be a people pleaser to feel good about who you are.
Action Step: Pause and reflect on whether you are a people pleaser. Consider the last time you said yes to someone. What were your reasons for agreeing to do something they wanted? Identify what you can do differently when you receive a new request.
Question: What are other things you can do to get over being a people pleaser?
Related Posts
Like This Post?
Sign up for my blog updates and never miss a post. I’ll also send you my ebook titled “How to Set Your Week Up For Maximum Results” as a thank-you.
