Neel Raman
5 min readOct 27, 2020


How to Take the Confusion Out of Expressing Your True Self

Why Being Who You Are at All Times Will Make Your Life Easier

Expressing your true self at all times is an important part of knowing and accepting who you are.

Everyone wants to feel accepted and have a sense of belonging. That gives meaning to people’s lives. To achieve that will require you to stay true to who you are and express yourself the way you want to.

What Does it Mean to Express Your True Self?

To express your true self means to:

  • Live your values.
  • Know what is important to you and pursue it without hesitation.
  • Accept others for who they are.
  • Share what is going on for you, especially during difficult times.
  • Let those you work or live with know if something is not working for you.
  • Embrace life’s challenges and do the best you can.
  • Know your strengths and weaknesses, and how they affect you and others.

Why is it Difficult to Express Your True Self?

If you observe most people, they do not express their true selves consistently, which can cause confusion on how to relate to others.

You may find it difficult to express your true self because:

  • You are living up to other people’s expectations.
  • You believe you have to be or act a certain way in situations to be respected and accepted.
  • You want to be liked so you do things that will cause others to approve of you.
  • You don’t feel safe to be yourself, so you believe it’s safer to be someone that will fit in.
  • You don’t know how to be you.

One of the hardest things you can do is to be your true self, without the fear of judgment, ridicule or rejection.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~ Aristotle

expressing your true self

The Costs of Not Expressing Your True Self

If you believe you cannot express yourself and be who you are, the costs include:

  • You will lose yourself, which means you will pretend to be someone you are not.
  • You will have low self-esteem and self-confidence.
  • You will not create deep, meaningful relationships.
  • You will be hard on yourself because of self-judgment and criticism.
  • You will not share your real feelings or desires.

Learning to express your true self and being who you are at all times will make your life easier, because you don’t have to figure out who you need to be.

5 Ways to Take the Confusion Out of Expressing Your True Self

Here are five ways to take the confusion out of expressing your true self, so you can be who you want to be, no matter what is happening around you.

  1. Acknowledge your uniqueness. Celebrate the truth, there is no one like you and there never will. Things you may believe are weaknesses or qualities you don’t like about yourself may be what makes you special. When you acknowledge your uniqueness, you will know who you don’t want to be.
  2. Face and overcome your fears. When you confront your fears, you will break through to new understanding and acceptance. That will help you gain confidence, which means you won’t need to pretend to be someone you are not.
  3. Develop better communication skills. Sometimes, people don’t express themselves because they don’t know how to communicate well. When you improve your communication skills, you will know how to better relate to people in all situations.
  4. Create and nurture genuine relationships. The quality of your relationships will affect all areas of your life. Assess all the relationships you have first, then identify the ones you want to improve. When you feel safe to express yourself with those close to you, it will be a lot easier to be who you are with everyone.
  5. Pursue higher levels of self-awareness. You will only grow in proportion to your level of self-awareness. If you embrace a growth mindset and address things that are holding you back, you will feel more comfortable being yourself.

Things You Can Expect to Happen When You Express Your True Self

As you embrace who you are, things that will happen include:

  • You will have greater clarity.
  • You will bring the best out of yourself.
  • Others will see and appreciate the real you.
  • You will become a role model and give others permission to be themselves too.
  • You will enjoy life more.

Final Thoughts

The best gift you can give others and the world is to be your true self. People connect better with those who are genuine and with those who do not need to act to feel accepted or liked.

When you are your true self, you will free up mental energy, which you can channel to worthwhile things and those that bring a sense of meaning to your life.

Action Step: Reflect on how you interact with people regularly. If you know you are holding yourself back or acting so you can fit in, find out why you are doing it. Focus on one thing you can do to embrace your true self.

Question: What are other ways to take the confusion out of expressing your true self?

Related Posts

5 Things You Can Do If You Hate Your Life
5 Things That Will Make You Have Low Self-Confidence
Banish These 10 Harmful Things Now and Your Results Will Improve
How to Delegate Work You Do Not Want to Do
5 Ways to Make the Last Month of the Year Count
5 Steps That Will Guarantee a Brilliant and Productive Day

Like This Post?

Sign up for my weekly updates and never miss a post. I’ll also send you my ebook titled, “How to Set Your Week Up for Maximum Results” as a thank-you.



Neel Raman

If you’re a leader that wants your team to perform better, get a free copy of my bestselling book, “Building High-Performing Teams” here: