Why Letting People Drop Out of Your Life is a Good Thing
The people we associate with on a regular basis affect our mental and emotional states, and also determine the quality of our lives.
When we are young, we don’t have much control over who we spent time with, as we tend to be with our families or school friends. Once we grow older, we can choose who to spend time with based on what we’d like to achieve, experience or do in life.
The reality is not everyone is a positive influence, so we have to seriously consider removing people from our lives, if we believe it’s a better choice for us.
Even though people may not intentionally be negative or unsupportive, it’s not for us to try and change them or their behaviours. While it’s useful to be a positive influence or role model, sometimes we have to acknowledge that some people are stuck in their own ways and we have to do what we think is best for us.
It may not be easy to remove people or let them drop out of our lives, however it’s important to know why it will be beneficial to not be around them as much.
It comes down to choosing what we think is best for us and being willing to go through with it.
I’ve been quite fortunate as I haven’t had negative people that I needed to remove from my life. As I’ve grown older and as my interests have evolved, people have naturally dropped out of my life.
Rather than focusing on why I don’t want to be around certain people, I’ve chosen to give attention to the things that are important to me and as a result, new people have come into my life and other people have dropped out.
5 Reasons Why You Should Consider Removing People From Your Life
It’s important to know that most people are not intentionally negative or difficult. Most times, they’re not aware of how they behave or relate to others, therefore if we value the relationship, we should try to reach a solution that works for everyone. Here are some reasons why we should remove people from our lives.
- You’re depleted of mental and emotional energy. We have to be more mindful of our energy when we’re around other people. If we tend to argue, have disagreements or debate things that are not value-adding, we have to decide whether it’s worth it because the energy that’s being used up can be directed towards something more beneficial.
- You’re tense when you’re around them. Some people can walk into the room and suck the energy right out it. We have to pay more attention to how we feel when we’re around certain people and whether we can be our true selves with them. If we’re agitated, annoyed or frustrated when we’re with them, that’s a sign we need new people in our lives.
- You only hear about their problems. There are people who get their charge by constantly talking about their problems. We have to be careful not to give them validation because we’ll only be encouraging them to continue with their patterns when they’re around us and their problems can get passed onto us.
- You already know you need to be around other people. We know what we need most and who we should be around in order to reach the outcomes we want. If we don’t like who we are when we’re around certain people, that’s a good indicator it’s time to drop them out of our lives.
- You want to be around other people. If we have a strong desire to find a new like-minded community, we can only do that by making space for other people to come into our lives. There will be times when we know we will not get ahead in life if we continue to be around the people we currently are, therefore we need to make a tough choice to let people drop out of our lives.
Things You Can Do to Get Started
- Do an association evaluation by assessing all the people you spend most of your time with.
- Decide if you value any relationship that’s not supporting you and what you’re prepared to do to change the situation, if you can.
- Start limiting your time with those who are negative by establishing some boundaries.
- Identify the type of people you want to connect with.
- Focus on the benefits adding new people will bring.
- Let go of any guilt you may have.
- Remind yourself daily what you’re working towards and why.
While it can be challenging to let people drop out of our lives, as there will be a period of adjustment, our mental and emotional well-being will be worth the short-term discomfort. Once we remove negative or toxic people from our lives, we’ll feel better, have energy to focus on what we want, and we’ll start creating better outcomes, not just for ourselves, but for those that matter most to us.
Action Step: Within the next week, do an association evaluator by listing down everyone you spend any significant amount of time with. Put a “+” next to anyone you think is mainly positive and a “-” next to anyone who is predominantly negative. Then follow the steps outlined above to determine if you want to continue associating with anyone who has a “-” next to their name.
Question: What could be another reason to let people drop out of our lives?
You can leave a comment by clicking here.